What You Really Need To Know About Tracing Your Dad
Tracing your dad can be an emotional time for you and your family. If you’ve lost touch with him, or if you’ve never met him there are things you really need to know about tracing your dad. It is a difficult thing to face and you might be in a little bit unsure about the best way to precede but hopefully this article is going to give you some points and tips on how you can go about tracing your dad.
This article has been written by David Oates, head researcher at FinderMonkey Limited and one of the leading People Tracing Experts in the UK. The people he has reunited have been featured in the Daily Mirror, Best Magazine and on BBC Radio.
There are some key facts that you’re going to have to find if you are to stand any chance of finding out where your dad is currently living and to regain contact with him.
Where do you start?
I’ve been told by people who are looking to trace their dad that it’s not an easy decision to make, many people find it hard to broach the subject with their family for fear of upsetting them.
This is especially true if you have been raised by your mother or if you were adopted. Depending on the circumstances of your Dad losing contact with you will depend on if you feel you can raise the issue of tracing him with those around you.
The first thing that you are going to have to find out is his name. Ideally, you need his full name including any middle names that he might have and you’ll also want his date of birth or at least his age at the time you were born. Obviously, speaking to your mother if you’re in contact with her is almost certainly the best way to gain this information. However sometimes, mothers aren’t too happy about giving this kind of information. If this is the case for you, then you might have to think outside the box, maybe go to a family friend or an uncle or an auntie, someone who’s prepared to give you the information that you need to trace your dad.
Next, you need to try and establish where he was born. This information is very important. If he was from Leeds and he was born in Leeds, the chances are he is probably still the Leeds area somewhere, so you can narrow your search down straight away. If you do have this information you can do electoral search straight away. You might get lucky quickly, performe searches in and around the area for people with the same name.
The other reason for establishing where your dad was born is that you should be able to find a birth certificate for your father. Again this is vital information when trying to trace your dad as a date of birth is the easiest way to verify you have the right person.
How to make that first contact after tracing your dad..
Once you have found a match you can discreetly contact him. This needs to be done carefully as it is very possible that your dad might have moved on his life. He may have another family and they might not be aware of you. If there is more than one match when you do your electoral roll search, you need to figure out which if any are your dad.
To do this you the wisest option is to write to those potential addresses. Make sure you write Private and confidential at the top of the envelope.
The letter should explain who you and why you are contacting him. It gives him chance to take on board what you are telling him without the pressure of you being on the other end of the phone. A little tip is to make sure you include your email address so he can contact you, and remember to ask the person to contact you with a quick email if they are not your Dad.
I find that some people are not comfortable with writing letters to potential matches. There are other things that you can do to guarantee that it is the correct person and they are addressed in other articles that I’ve wrote.
You can also try the telephone, try and get a telephone number from BT.com or other telephone directories. Phone the person up and just ask the question. “I think potentially you might be my Dad” see what response you get. Again, you’ve got to remember, if you phone more than one person then some of the matches are definitely not going to be your dad so the way you go about that call is important. You have to be courteous to every person that you speak to.
Again many people are not comfortable with calling random people and asking if they are your Dad. If this is sounding like you it may be worth using a professional service to do the search for you.
Tracing your dad’s relatives could be the key..
If you have no luck with tracing your dad directly, it could be worth trying to trace him through his parents, (your grandparents). Your dad’s birth certificate should provide you with their names and potentially other information which can be used to trace them. Also, as your grandparents will be older, there is a much higher chances that they will be on the electoral roll. Potentially, it will be easy to get telephone number too.
When you have found potential matches for your dad’s parents you still need to be very discreet and very polite. Hopefully if you have success with tracing your dad through his parents, you’ll be put back in contact with not just one person but three people.
There are many other methods of tracing your dad which i will be writing about in future blog posts.
Hopefully, you find the information useful. If you did please share it with others using the buttons below. If you have any questions or comments, don’t forget to leave me a message below. I hope this helps you with tracing your dad.